playing from memory

there have been a few run-ins with my precious favorite. i am unable to log them in real time because my job is very demanding. only light late afternoon facebooking is all i can get away with. shame shame, i know your name.

he has called in a few times since we last wrote, blog. it is nice to hear his voice, sweet little whispers in my ear help me forget how he belongs to someone else and will be leaving me june 2011. like romeo and juliet knowing the end is inevitable makes the brief love filled exchanges so much more powerful.

he called multiple times in a day. he needs help. he came in a time or two. i think he may have caught the doggies one visit. kind to animals, his perfection is god like.

i saw him from the bus once. i was riding my way out into the mischief of the night. my public transportation chariot takes me pretty much everywhere i need to go, but it takes me by work going and returning. i saw him, i watched attentivly to see if he glanced up and i may have done a little 'hey, do you see me? i know you' wave; dear god the more i think about it im sure i did it and wish that i didnt.

there is a vague and paranoid memory of him wearing the look of peripheral avoidance, the 'i see you, but i am so enthralled by whatever i am doing i couldnt possibly recognize you'. i know this look all to well, i hate talking to people with whom i only share small talk.

i wanted him to see me, he would then have to acknowledge the fact that i am real person. the office is no where near what i do or who i am as a person. I HAVE FEELINGS AND LOVES OUT SIDE OF....whatever field i said i worked in to keep the anonymity of my employment.

that tho, a creepy 'i recognize you and have been watching and waiting for you to notice me' look and wave would have ruined everything and anything that we have or could have.

well thats all i remember from the recent past. theres a story about today so lets just move on to that...