more then one flavor of crazy

besides my favorite, i have an in-my-head relationship with celebrities and famous people. so today i will talk to you about my super fan girl crush on Dov Davidoff.

now, i want you to know that i love him. i love him very dearly for a number of reasons, so lets get right into the creepy and bring up the most ridiculous of reasons.

1) i had a dream about him once where he asked me to go to the x-games with him. i know, who the fuck goes or knows or cares about the fagging x-games. it could have also been no so silent night or bfd. two more things i should have stopped thinking about after high school.

the best part about this dream is that i began with my cousins and i hanging out trying on clothes in an antique store. the subconscious is a weird thing. in our funky expedition we run into Dov and some other people, friends, i would assume, either ours or his. he hangs out, puts in his pair of pennies on the clothes kuzzie and cuzzie are trying on. im just hanging out watching everything playing with hanging beads on a lamp. hand to god, this is literally what i am dreaming up for myself.

Dov is digging on my kuzzie (remember borderline criminality no names no nothing) kuzzie had a boy friend at the time and wasnt digging Dov so she flirted and then then stopped when it was no longer fun.

Dov approached my other cuzzie and started to chat her up, and for some reason or another a mushroom was why she wasnt into it. not drugs not an actual mushroom no innuendo. just a mushroom.

after hitting on both of my cousins, he comes up and talks to me. for no reason at all i am laying on the floor leaning on a wall. he lies down completely on the floor and says, "your cousins dont want to go, do you want to come to the x-games with me?" i say yes.

so even in my dreams where i can live out my wildest fantasies, were i can be everything i am not, where left is right and right is left, i still manage to shit on my own face and make myself a last resort to some unrealistic celebrity crush. i was totally into it tho, i was hella happy both of my more attractive and cooler cousins said no.

2) when i first started to think about doing comedy i watched comedy central all the time. during my lunch i watched all the clips of stand up comics they had trying to figure out how the hell i was going to approach this, the most amazing thing ive ever heard of. i feel that is a pure raw form of art and the last bit of honest free speech left or at least that think of...any how, back to boys.

SO. i was watching tv with my sister i asked her to check what was on comedy central and it was Dov. his half hour special was on. i wanted to watch and she said i think i saw this guy, he has some joke about smelling cookies.

he was awesome, he didnt do the normal delivery and whatever (when it comes to comedy i know nothing i just love it blindly with all my heart (thats gay huh (love is gay sometimes))). i loved everything, i dont want to try to describe what he does or go on and on about my personal yet inaccurate interpretation of his stand up. i just love him, i love every part about him and he kinda solidified my decision to try comedy, cause it might be fun.

i then proceeded to look him up on line and learn everything i could about him. i had the dream about him after i saw him on tv, it wasnt some magical soul mate premonition connection, i just wanted to bring out the creepy first. gotta start strong.

3) yesterday he was preforming at the punchline. i missed him the first time. sidebust: when he posted the event on facebook i was the first to respond that i was attending and it was just me and him on the attending list thing. i hope he noticed. but then i didnt make it cause i cant remember why but i didnt make it.

ANYHOW. i went to see his show yesterday. i was a little late, i talked to my front door best friend and finished my cigarette. as i am settling into the im-here state from the run-there state, Dov comes out to smoke. my insides throw up on themselves and all i could do was stare at my front door best friend and gesture with my head and communicate with my eyes, OMG thats him.

with a bit of the run-to-the-punch anxiety still in me i turn to him and stick out my hand to meet him and say i love you. those words came out of my mouth. i think they were followed by youre awesome. this is what i get for not thinking never ever in my life and most importantly before i speak.

thats all i could get out. he said cool and asked my name, as you do i suppose when fan girls come up to you and gush verbal vomit on your shoes. he had a cigarette out and needed a light so, being the gentle men i am, i brought out my lighter and began to light his cigarette. he must have thought i was going to hand it to him cause he ended up cupping my hands as i lit him. yea, were in love and getting married soon. i can still feel his hands touching mine because i am severely unbalanced and 100% all natural bat shit insane.

i usually hate the accidental hand touch, but this made me soil my pants with pure joy. in his set, which is why i know we are truly in love and meant to be together, he looked toward the back of the room and said, hey girl in the back that i met outside, what is your name. i had a little love implosion and then said my name as loud enough to be heard but soft enough to seem stable. he asked if i had a boy friend, to which i answered 'nah'. im such a tool. he said something else but i was too busy pulling some raging beatles fan weeping on the inside.

i was in knots the rest of the show but i loved it. it was a great fucking show, he is a badass and super hilarious awesome. i was covered in my own excitement and too nervous that i was going to dive face first into his pants to talk to him. but as he left he looked at me and with a subtle intonation directed a personal bye to me.

am i scaring anyone with this shit yet? well then check this out.

so on the bus home i status updated how much i loved him, liked it, wrote a little addendum comment to the update and then distracted myself with writing to try to keep myself from hyperventilating in a happy panic attack or compulsively masturbating on public transit.

when i got home, i got on to the facebook, and posted some comment on his wall where i congratulated him and then apologized for not talking to him - something he wouldnt have cared if i did or not. cause thats how this creepy gets down. i also addendumed about that on my update cause i forget everyone can see that shit on the news feeds. whateves.

i want to go see him tonight and tomorrow night but that would be too much. he's so cool and so fucking hot.